360 waver impersonations: The Great White Wave God

So Im out on funky ass Bourbon St on my Bday getting drunk and Im not saying its funky as use for some wack as slang term I mean I need to cop a fresh pair of nostrils off EBay for the low funky I mean its unheavenly like GOT DAMN! The stench hits you so hard out of know where got you feeling like its :20 on the clock in the 4th quarter, Ray Lewis got you in his sights, 3rd & 7 while they up by 6. You slip can't catch your footing, he coming *pause*, you start crying, he coming *pause again* next thing you know you hit with a mass amount of the most disgusting of filth. Daquiri just fumbling all out your hands sliding on beads through throw up & white girl screams smh crazy down there. SO while I scroll twitter on my Bday I see a video all on the TL I click cause Im drunk and wanted to enjoy some Bday time with my twitter friends. I WASNT READY! Who gave this white boy wave grease, a durag & a camera to stunt on us without a chance of recovery? Nigga said his waves was smoooooood not SMOOTH YALL SMOOOD! Smhhhhh gotta bless our hearts & hairlines on this one.