Doug don't like pork replacements: FUCK TURKEY BACON! bacon is the shit all extra crispity & greasily & heart attacky all for the pork over here cuhh
Doug don't like hairy box: shouldn't feel like Im lickin a kiwi boo. Shouldn't have the thought of a tennis ball jus left my tongue. Smooth as baby ass yo, SMOOTH!
Doug don't like Flies: I dont I dont I FUCKIN DON'T! Like get the fuck outta here forreal. Like how can i enjoy my cheeseburger which I jus added the perfect amount of ketchup & mayo to wit yall asses flyin by tryna get a piece got me jukin & jivin in circles nshit
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